June 29, 2011

If You Give A Mouse Some Muesli

Slim had never heard of the book "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie" - but I'm guessing for some of you from the Western Northern Hemisphere, this literary children's masterpiece was a staple in your childhood reading (along with if you Give a Mouse a Muffin)


I read these books until they were worn soft with my mom.  I really loved If you Give a Mouse a Cookie - that was - until Slim and I  had our own live version of the book only enter "Muesli" for "Cookie"- this past 6 months.

I've heard that the insane amount of canals paired with the hundred year old row houses in Holland - lead to mice being plentiful as secondary members in Dutch households.  We have had a little gray, tailed, rodent pet of our own for the past 6 months off and on.

We kept thinking he found another snug house to sleep in or a local neighborhood cat got an extra special dinner with our pet because we would only see him every few weeks, late at night, in the kitchen, running under our heater - while we were sitting on the couch watching a movie.

We would gasp, throw a shoe, and hope he would like what we sat out on the "Lucifer" mouse trap I found at Blokker - or the box of mouse poison our crazy landlord set out.

However, after 5 sprung Lucifer traps and cookie bait (I went by the book) taken as recent as a week ago we had only shared paranoid glances at little house sounds and no dead mouse.

So I bought the "Claws of Death" (as I lovingly refer to them) off of Amazon.co.uk and waited for them to arrive.
Then.....this weekend.....
Mousepocalypse happened.  
Slim and I were sitting on the couch watching "Kill the Irishman" (a great movie) when I heard...

"Munch, munch, munch" - I looked at Slim and gave him the military two finger point to the eyes and two finger point to the sound (because I sure as heck wasn't going to see what it was).
He heard it then - "munch, munch, munch" - and tiptoed over to the kitchen counter to investigate.

You see, when first realizing we had a little unwanted pet in our apartment -  I Tupperware up literally EVERYTHING in our kitchen - except the boxes of bran cereal and Muesli we eat for breakfast because they didn't fit in our cabinet.

Guess where the munching was coming from? Oh you guessed it - the Museli box.

Slim hit the box, once... the munching stopped.  He hit the box again.... and the mouse came flying out of the box about 2 feet in the air, in Slims direction (no joke, who knew mice could fly?!).
We both made loud noises (mine was a scream & Slims was an explicit word) and jumped on the couch.  We watched the mouse dart behind the microwave and then  probably back into the walls.

After catching our breath, we resolved that our friend was getting ballsier and fatter off our breakfast cereal - and that he was in deed not deciding to take up residence elsewhere.  Thank the Lord the next day the claws of death arrived from the Amazon.co.uk angels - and we baited those bad boys.

Slim also did some mouse recon in his mouse hunting gear from the cesspool that is our porch (or veranda as he calls it) after a rainy morning.

During his baiting expedition Slim realized that although our crazy landlord had put down the box of poison - he failed to realize that one must  open the bags of poison and dump them into the box. Maybe he got confused by the word stop which is probably referring to "stop - don't eat"


Needless to say - we opened the poison, baited all four of the traps with some Muesli/Peanut-butter, and threw away the rest of the box of Muesli (after shuttering at the fact that maybe those burnt nuts in our Muesli were not really burnt nuts after all).  I bought new muesli and an extra tall Tupperware container the next morning - hopefully we also bought some good mouse catching luck with these claws of death as well.

I don't think after Mousepocalypse I'll be reading our future children "If you give a Mouse a Cookie" with the same love as I did before.

On a side note - does anyone in Holland have a cat they need babysat over the next few weeks?

10 comments:

Megan said...

first off, im LOVING the new layout! it looks fabulous!!!!!

and im TERRIFIED of all rodents!!! they are the only animals that truly scare me so i would have freaked out!

Alix said...

OMG. that just gave me an insane case of the heebie jeebies...

DeDee said...

My favorite part of this blog is actually the shorts, socks, shoe combo on Slim... combined with the devil shirt. Man's got some fashion sense!

Aaron M. Gipson said...

I have to say this, although you probably already know it and just don't like to think about it. But how often was that little guy going into your cereal box do you think? And how many bowls of cereal did you eat thinking "huh... These raisins sure taste funny"? I know I shouldn't have said anything, I'm sorry...

If it's any consolation to you, I have to deal with tarantulas and snakes down here. And being the only adult male in the house, whose job do you think it is to remove the dinner plate sized spider from the kids' room?

The Expatriate said...

I seriously hate mice too! I always have had a cat so I really never even thought about them - but Slim hates kitties, maybe after the Muesli incident he'll hate mice more?

Dee- he is lookin' pretty studly in that get up - the black socks put it over the edge for sure.

Aaron - we kept gagging and saying to each other "don't say it" or "don't think about it". Seriously of all the things in our apartment that is the ONE thing we both eat literally every single day.... I think I am going to be sick again. Thank god we don't have mutant sized bugs like you do in Costa Rica - I'd loose it.

Little Miss Can't Be Wrong said...

one day you will look at this and laugh...

TexaGermaNadian said...

Hahaha, ewwww! Don't you hate that sound, the munch munch munch of a little rodent. Gives me the heeby geebies just thinking about it!! Ya'll are too funny. I am loving your blog, and however you made your way over to the Storytellers Blog Hop, I am really glad you did! Looking forward to seeing more of your blog and you around :) Have a great start to the weekend!

TriGirl said...

Stopped by from Storytellers...I am completely torn about this story. On the one hand, rodents and possibly droppings (ftw????) in your food...absolutely disgusting and must stop. On the other hand, it's a tiny little mouse and maybe there is a humane way to remove it without killing it. BUT, *I* don't have a mouse in my house so it's easy to remain all bleeding-hearty about it. Hope he goes away soon, just don't tell me if you kill him, ok? :D

The Expatriate said...

Isn't it nasty?!

I know I totally feel guilty I'm a big time animal lover - but then last night the stupid thing came out by the couch where we were watching a movie again!

This morning we found one in the claws of death - but it wasn't the same mouse. I went back to bed and had nightmares about hundreds of mice...

Then I didn't feel as bad :(

TriGirl said...

*Shudder* Ok, it needs to be dealt with. Yuck.

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